An open letter

Dear women of the world:

If you are not interested, please say so. Your goal may be to “avoid drama,” but leading me on will not achieve this goal. Indeed, there is a high chance that it will have the opposite effect. I am a limerent, and when you lead me on, you only increase any attraction I may have to you. It makes nothing easier, for me, for you, or for any mutual friends we may have. Leading me on wastes both your time and mine, and it makes you look diffident and indecisive at best. At worst, I will suspect that you simply wanted another free dinner.

When you tell me you are not interested, stick to the facts. Say these simple words:  “(I’m sorry, but) I am not attracted to you.” I will not be offended by this. (I might be disappointed, but c’est la vie.) Unless they are actually relevant, do not appeal to reasons like your “dating rules,” the “distance,” or problems with your last relationship. When you eventually disprove those claims, I will be offended at your deceit and your cowardice. Do not leave me with any reason to think that you might be attracted to me now or in the future. Turn me down outright. Just say no. It will be better for both of us.

Not much love,